Just when you thought it was safe to venture back on to the Internet, the blue-eyed bugle blowing blogger from Blackhall is back!
Yes folks, it’s that time again where we start to prepare for the fun and games that is touring with Lisa Stansfield. In just under a week we will start rehearsals for the 2014 European Tour, taking in Switzerland, Germany, France, Belgium, Holland, Italy and, somewhat left-field, Bulgaria.
That’s several thousand miles of laughter, mayhem and general tomfoolery – all loosely hidden behind the gossamer thin veil of entertainment.
And once again (call me mental) I have committed to writing a daily blog from the furthest flung corners of the Continent, so I thought I would ease back into it by inflicting a pre-tour test blog upon those of you whose curiosity got the better of them. Kind of a warm up.
In the build up to the tour there have been a number of conversations around what we might be playing, with Musical Director 80s Dave nervously fretting over the content, order and pace of the set – constantly shuffling, switching and experimenting – whilst the rest of us give the Playstation a good hammering and wait for him to decide. It’s a truly democratic process.
One man, one vote.
Once he has single-handedly decided what we all think is a good running order, he will then go to Ian & Lisa and between them they will make the final decision. The rest of us will eagerly wait outside the Royal semi in Watford for the tell-tale puff of white smoke from the chimney, which announces to the world that the set has been chosen!
Then it’s off to the rehearsal studios to see if we can remember what to do.
This time we are joined on the tour by one Terry Lewis, who will be mostly playing guitar and I’m sure complaining about the brass blowing right into his lug’oles. Terry plays alongside 80s Dave in the fine young beat combo ‘Mama’s Gun’ so I’m sure he knows what to expect.
In actual fact, Terry has already done a couple of TV shows with us and I’m very happy to report that he’s a nice guy who has so far slotted in well. Of course, we have yet to find his achilles heel, or even a nickname, but I’m sure it won’t be long before we are ripping into him like he’s always been there.
Now. Those of you who read any of my blogs from the last tour will be aware how mentally and physically demanding touring can be. (What??)
So, over the past few weeks I have been following a strict diet and exercise regime designed to get me in the peak physical condition which touring necessitates. I’ve had to really dig deep and summon every ounce of discipline to maintain what is, by anyone’s standards, a brutal schedule.
On the diet front. Two basic, absolute immutable rules.
First. NO RED MEAT!
So, for the past month it’s been Chicken pies only. Not ONCE have I cracked.
I’ve got a will of iron.
Secondly, I need to make absolutely sure I’m getting my 5-a-day. This is a very important part of a balanced and healthy diet and so every day I keep fastidious notes on the fruit and vegetables I eat that day. Just to make sure I get all the way up to 5. For example, yesterday:
- Mushy Peas (1 Tin)
- Tomato Ketchup (on everything)
- 2 Pickled onions
- Packet of Fruit Pastilles
See what I mean? I’m a lean, mean health machine! I actually bought a juicer but the Opal Fruits just don’t seem to want to mix in with the Um Bongo?? Maybe the fuse has blown? I’m not sure.
Note: Fruit sweets only
Of course, diet is one thing but we all know that exercise is the real trigger to a toned body so I have implemented a gruelling exercise plan designed to sculpt my body into a chiselled showpiece. Without exercise, all of the pain and suffering of the diet could come to nought.
So, every morning, the minute I awake I’m straight into my workout; 1 sit up, 2 leg ups and a fry up!
That, along with my dietary privations should see me in good shape for the road. I know it’s gruelling but I just keep my eyes on the prize!!
And you lot think it’s easy…………